Insights from Dr Laura A. Jana author of The Toddler Brain
As parents, one of our biggest hopes is that our children grow into confident, capable, and resilient individuals. But what does that actually look like in the early years? According to Dr Laura A. Jana, a paediatrician and internationally recognised early childhood expert, one of the most important foundations we can nurture is self-regulation.
Self-regulation is about how children understand themselves, manage their feelings, and make thoughtful choices. It includes three closely linked skills: self-awareness, self-control, and self-regulation.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is a child’s ability to recognise their own feelings, thoughts, and actions. In the early years, this might look like a toddler saying, “I’m sad”, or a preschooler proudly declaring, “I did it myself!”
- Why it matters: Children who are self-aware can better express their needs and understand how their actions affect others.
- How to support it: Encourage your child to name their feelings and celebrate their unique strengths. A simple prompt like “How are you feeling right now?” can build powerful self-awareness over time.
Self-control
Self-control is about managing impulses — waiting for a turn, resisting the urge to grab, or staying calm when things don’t go their way. You’ve all seen the video clips of putting a dish of lollies or a cookie in front of children and asking them to wait.
- Why it matters: Self-control helps children build friendships, succeed in group learning, and feel confident in their own choices.
- How to support it: Model calm behaviour and provide gentle guidance. Try games like “Red Light, Green Light” or “Simon Says” — fun ways to practice pausing and thinking before acting.
Self-regulation
Self-regulation brings it all together. It’s the ongoing process of monitoring feelings, controlling reactions, and making good choices — even when challenges arise.
- Why it matters: Strong self-regulation is linked to school readiness, resilience, and lifelong wellbeing.
- How to support it: Create predictable routines, provide a calm environment, and give your child chances to practice problem-solving. For example, when two children want the same toy, guide them to find a fair solution rather than stepping in with a quick fix.
Dr. Laura A. Jana reminds us that these skills don’t develop overnight. They are built through consistent support, practice, and positive relationships. As parents, we can:
- Be role models by showing calmness and patience.
- Offer words and tools to manage emotions (“Let’s take three deep breaths together”)
- Provide safe opportunities for independence, even when mistakes happen.
Helping children develop self-awareness, self-control, and self-regulation is one of the greatest gifts we can give. These skills form the foundation for healthy relationships, learning, and success in life. At Sprouts Early Learning, our educators integrate these principles every day — supporting children not only to grow and learn, but to thrive as thoughtful, resilient individuals.
